This room is very tastefully furnished, although somewhat small.
On the dresser is a framed portrait of a certain Wizard dressed all in White. There is an empty bottle of Laphraoig in the bin, and a pile of fungus next to it.
Sleeping peacefully on the bed is the owner of the room.. a petite, perfectly formed young woman with a face which outranks all but the most important angels. Her eyes are shut, but rest assured that if they were open and you gazed into them, you would be lost forever. You are quite sure that you have never seen a more beautiful girl. You also notice that there is a little box by the bed marked:
ACME FORCE FIELD PROTECTION EQUIPMENT: MK2 B
and that when you near the girl or the box, you get a nasty shock and leap back.
A note on the bedside chair reads:
"Never the north, Ever we Play, Ever the West, Nothing's too Much, Sometimes the East, Ever we Win, Ever we Jest, Never we Touch."